My name is Maddie, and I am a redeemed addict.

As I am used to introducing myself in AA, “Hi, my name is Maddie and I am an addict.”

I grew up in the Church and as a child envisioned my life very differently than it turned out. I was first introduced to drugs and alcohol at the age of twelve when two adults in my life started caring for me in the absence of my parents. My basic needs were being met through this family. I had a roof over my head, food on the table, rides to school, and soccer practice. Because my needs were being met in a time of lack I was susceptible to being taken advantage of. Unhealthy power dynamics led to sexual misconduct. Drugs and alcohol were used as a form of coercion to allow for sexual misuse to happen to me at such a young age. I was in this pattern of abuse for three years and by the time I was fifteen I was in a position to take care of myself and not be reliant on my abusers.

My use of narcotics and alcohol became an addiction and a way for disassociation after using it as a forced measure for so many years. I began using my body and male validation to feel empowered after so much had been taken from me. As a minor in high school, I went on to date men ten-plus years older than me. I was using any drug I could get my hands on and overly using alcohol as a survival tactic. In my senior year of high school, I was assaulted by a classmate who took advantage of me while I was intoxicated. I got pregnant and chose to have an abortion. The trauma of the assault and the choice I had made led to my first hospitalization and attempt on my life. I lived in shame, addiction, and mental health battles for years to follow.

I lived my life hoping I would die every day. For years, I hoped my drug use would lead to an overdose. I was in relation with people who struggled and would enable me for years. I found myself in situations of further abuse both physically and emotionally, hoping it would bring me closer to death.

Suicidal Ideation and attempts have been something I have struggled with for as long as I can remember. I never wanted to get help, I just wanted to die.

Letting God be the ruler of my life:

I came to Gateway City Church for the first time in January of 2023 after watching online for a couple of months. Without knowing it, I had been on a friend of mine’s “Prayer List.” They had been continuously praying for my salvation and that I would be in community for a year before I ever stepped foot inside of Church. I came to Gateway a week after I had gotten home from a residential facility specializing in rehabilitation and PTSD. I had two attempts on my life in the months prior and had no hope for living. I had participated in every therapy modality, treatment facility, and extended care plan that was available to me and nothing was working. I was totaling eight hours of therapy a day and I was still struggling to push through the days with a will to live. When I first came to Gateway, I was hopeless.

God met me in my lack. He met me in my hurt. My life has rapidly changed from the moment I accepted Jesus as my Savior. He expedited my healing. It was hard, there were days when I would come to Church on a Sunday and I was battling thoughts of self-harm. Ultimately, the more radically I trusted the Lord for my safety of mind, the more freedom he had for me. God is almighty, He can move the impossible mountains in your life.

Jesus is the Lord of my life. He has brought me through so much hardship and trial. Without God, I would not have been able to get sober. Without God, I would have succumbed to suicide, and mental health diagnoses. Without the Holy Spirit, I would have never been softened to His body. Without His people, I would have never known how restorative community could be for me. In my first season of Women’s Community, I was shown compassion that healed previous Church hurt. I was welcomed into a space where I could be myself and share freely. I was never judged for my past but instead loved where I was at. If I was struggling with my sobriety or mental health, there was a place for me to be seen and loved. Women’s Community allowed me to come as I was; broken, lonely, angry, and hurting. There was space for that. I was seen there. Not only was I allowed to come as I was, I was discipled and taught there. I learned about God’s grace for me, His purpose for my life, and the obedience He called me to.

Where I am now:

I am so grateful for the work God has done in my life. He gets all the glory for the redemption arc in my life. Because of God’s love for me, I will be two years sober on September 8th. Because God has transformed me all I want to do is shout His glory. God has given me purpose to profess His healing power. I have the honor of leading in the Women’s Community alongside many women who poured into me. I am so grateful to God for my sobriety and the freedom he has given me from my addictions. I am honored to be able to walk in my purpose and serve the Women of Gateway who are struggling with addiction with the Women’s Recovery Program. It has been prophesied over the women of Gateway that we are in a season of miraculous, expedited season of healing. God is setting women free from addiction in our community!

If you are interested in walking through recovery, reach out to Chelsea Galindo at chelsea.galindo@gatewaycitychurch.org