Listening for a Change
“Understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words and], slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving].” James 1:19
You have probably heard the phrase, “People don‘t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” The way you communicate care and build trust with others is to listen to them. Not just listening with your ears - but with your entire being, your eyes, heart, and spirit. That means being fully present - not thinking about your response or what you plan to have for dinner. It's important to be unbiased and focus on their experience and feelings and not on how you would respond or react to what they are sharing. It also means showing compassion and asking questions to validate what you are hearing and dig deeper into what they are sharing. In essence, you are called to model Jesus on how he approached and ministered to people.
During my ten years of co-leading Celebrate Recovery, I spent hundreds of hours “listening” to people share their 4th-step, Inventory, which typically contains the most sensitive information about a person’s life. I had several people who came with dozens of pieces of paper of all sizes that held only a few words or sentences on each. These people needed to share many intimate details of their lives as part of their healing process. My role was to listen intently, ask clarifying questions and connect the dots across all the details they shared. As we went deeper into their inventory, they felt more open and at ease with sharing, and the Holy Spirit would help me connect the dots. Almost without fail, there would be a revelation that brought about a new level of healing and renewal. The key ingredients were trust, compassion, and caring.
The next time you reach out to someone, or they reach out to you and want to talk, bring your entire self into the conversation and “listen." Think about what Jesus would do, model that behavior, and watch the Holy Spirit make room for a deeper relationship.
By Pastor Michele Guel